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To Blog or Not to Blog, That is the Question...

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To blog or not to blog, that is the question.......

It certainly makes sense, I love writing, this is a publishing company, its a great way to connect with people and it really is a smart business move. So, why have I been dragging my feet?

Here's why....

First, who really gives two turds what I have to say? I am not trying to be self deprecating. It's just that right now, there is an abundance of information and opinions, everywhere.

Most days, I am not really interested in hearing what makes me a crappy parent, how my relationships are doomed or the many ways someone might think I don't love myself. 

So, why would you? 

Its not that I am opposed to another perspective. I would like to think that I am fairly open minded. Yet, the older I get, the more I accept that I live in an annoying, gray space of uncertainty. That things are often not black and white, right or wrong to me. I also understand that this is not a place for everyone. It makes many people uncomfortable.

Although, I have always questioned things, I have not always seen things through this perspective....

There have been many times that I thought I had all of the answers. Times, I have been really judgmental and just mean....

It is when I got knocked off that high horse a few times, that things changed. When my life, relationships, kids, family, finances, career, nothing resembled anything I thought it could be. I finally stopped trying to fit into that box. I didn't give up, I never do. I just stopped investing in a dream that a culture had created for me.

I wont lie, It was a little scary and sometimes still is. There are no guidelines, no rules, no sign posts, you have to figure it out and create your own.

Yet, it has been in the midst of this uncertainty, that the best things have come. It has been in the not knowing, that has allowed me to look at things differently. Getting knocked off the horse has been a gift. It is where I have come to my own conclusions about kids, school, education, relationships, our culture, bigotry, equality, sexism, literature, diversity, loyalty, faithfulness, friends, marriage, ego, books, etc.

It was this space of uncertainty that allowed me to create Positively Publishing Kids. So, I'm thinking I will own it and embrace it completely.

But, what could I possibly offer of value? I have thought about this for two years.

I am still uncertain but, uncertainty is the place I seem to thrive.

And please, if I start to climb that high horse, feel free to knock me down. I prefer the view from the ground...




(me sitting on the living room floor. I sit here often.)

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